i’m a negative creep and i’m stoned.

Wow, it’s been a whirlwind week for sure.

So, last Wednesday I had my interview at the community mental health clinic.  I applied for 2 jobs and got one that I initially didn’t want but upon reflection?  I think the HR dude did exactly the right thing.  I’m now, ahem, the Case Aide (the only one) for Intensive Children’s Services.  You’re going, what the hell is that?  Yeah, that’s what I said to HR dude, too, hah.  What I’ll be doing is working with foster kids aged 3-18, sometimes taking them to court-scheduled meetings with their biological parents, observing their behavior & making sure they’re sticking to treatment protocol by way of gentle interrogation.  The part that really makes me waver is the nature of the problems these kids have… during our discussion of “professional boundaries” I was told about 5 yr old kids who, if touched, will immediately think they’re going to be sexually assaulted because that’s all they know.  Touching = pain.  Fortunately it’s the therapist’s job to break through that terrible mindset, I’m the one who gives the therapist the out-in-the-real-world observations he/she is unable to make.  On the other side of the professional boundaries coin are the severely mentally handicapped kids whose only means of communication is touch… fortunately I have lots of people & access to charts to ascertain proper protocol for each child.  There’s a 14 yr old boy who has a rich history of arson, rape, and one murder… you can bet that one tripped me out & there’s plenty more like him.  Hello, world.

I was a little disappointed at first because I wanted to work with adult outpatients or addicts but no, dude puts me with the toughest kids our county has to offer.  Every child I work with has been taken from their biological parents for one reason or another, all of them abused in some fashion.  It’ll toughen me up for sure but damn, I’m glad that I only have to observe & enforce court decisions – like, if Uncle Dan isn’t supposed to be in the room then sorry folks, meeting is over, I report back to the Case Manager & they call the court.  I can’t wait for the day when I get verbally abused by bio-families for not giving them their way… time to hone my conflict resolution skills, huh?  :D

How can I not mention Barbara & her most fantastic clan visiting on Thursday & being consumed with visuals of breaking Luigi’s nuts?  Thursday was a day of memory, I want more of those with my friends.  (jen?)

Then I got sick.  Really fucking sick.  Got some bactroban for this impetigo-like outbreak on my lips, a crapload of blood work done which showed a big zero for anything wrong, & a phone consult this afternoon to discuss the results.  What does my doctor tell me?  He’s referring me to the sleep clinic because he’s suspecting sleep apnea.  HUH?  Yeah, I’ve got deep fatigue… but I’m not sleeping well at night & I’m sure that’s attributed to this persistent low-grade fever that has me drenching sweating one minute & freezing cold the next.  I don’t snore (unless I’m wasted, hah), GOB has never mentioned anything ever sleep apnea-like occurring in our 19yrs together, I’m not getting the connection.  Anyway, at least my thyroid levels were still normal (I’ve had a small goiter for a few yrs now), glucose is awesome (I have rampant diabetes in my family), and no liver or kidney maladies in sight.  Not happy about this sudden hypertension but I’m gonna blame it on the coffee I had before my appointment.  :D  I know, not smart, but it smelled soooooo good.

I’ve learned some great shit this week.  Here’s a sampling.

—+—  There’s this dude I know who’s being forced to look for a job, his time is being clocked in the same building I sorta work in for the time being.  We were watching this video in training (which is apparently NOT orientation but I’ll be damned if I can tell the difference)… the lecturer, Randy Pausch, died of pancreatic cancer on 07/25/2008.  Dude, after having impressed me with his opinion that kids get bathed too much these days & that kids need germs to stay healthy (I swear no lie), apparently didn’t hear what cancer killed him.  He chimes in after the video & goes “He probably died of lung cancer.  Cigarettes will kill you fuckers, you know.  That’s why I gave up cigarettes for meth.  You don’t need to smoke as much and there’s less chemicals you’re inhaling.”

—+—  On the bus to my dr’s appointment on Monday – GOB ‘n I are striving to reduce our carbon mittprints little by little, giving up the car is huge & proving to be rather rewarding – there was a most interesting conversation behind us on our way to Silverdale.  This Woman & her Friend went to a bar.  Both get fucked up, Woman runs over Friend in the parking lot of the bar.  Woman goes to jail, Friend won’t talk to her anymore.  Woman gets out of jail, runs into Friend at a party (this time not literally) & they get fucked up together (again).  Woman and Friend get loaded on tequila & by the end of the night they’re pals again.  The brother on the bus that Woman was relating this story to succinctly summarized the ordeal by stating, “Well, if you drink tequila shots wif summbuddy, they gotta forgive you, yanno.”

—+—  If you work in a childcare facility & one of the rules for child misbehavior is to take a “time out” in the corner beanbag chair facing the other children?  And you don’t agree with this policy because you think the child should be ostracized & ridiculed for some sick reason?  Here’s a hint… don’t yell “go sit in the fucking corner!” to the kid.  That will get you fired.

—+—  Mental health clinics are really efficient at cleaning up human waste left behind in the lobby.

Knitting season is rapidly approaching & I have projects in mid-transit that need to be finished… who the hell knits during summer unless it’s like, you know, your life or something?  One project in particular needs completion & it’s totally knitted up, it just needs to be sewn together.  I hate sewing.  I really, really do.  It’s so… womanish.  :D

breaking, restructuring, owning.

I know virtually nothing about my mother’s side of the family. She never told me her real last name, her real story growing up… basically, all I know is that she grew up in mainland China & Taiwan… she comes from a prominent military family… and that her sister, upon my birth, wanted to raise me in Hong Kong. I have a name or two, nothing to search on per se due to the vast amount of *insert generic Chinese name here* variations there are on the planet… and the main reason I never searched for them was out of deference to my mother’s pride. I probably don’t need to say this, but – enough. I deserve to know where I came from & my children most certainly deserve the same and more.

Now – where do I begin? :)

Some way to blast myself in after a self-imposed social seclusion, hah.

Mia had her concert back on the 15th, wow… that’s something I never want to experience again! I was incredibly proud to see my baby on stage with her viola busting out little songs but JESUS it was so… it was… well… very hard on the ears. I’m glad I have pictures and a video to remind me of the event ‘cuz seriously, I really don’t want to imprint the shivers of out-of-tune string instruments performing Bach’s Brandenburg #4 upon my aging fragile memory.

Ash decided she wanted to join the tennis team which is kinda stressful for me because first off, I totally dislike tennis… it bores the living hell outta me. Second, I don’t WANT to learn tennis for the same reason. Yet I must. I am throwing a gargantuan parental tantrum.

Speaking of Ash, I took her into the doc’s today because she’s been one sick kid – the past 3 days have been terrible for all of us as she hacked and dry coughed her way through life… fortunately it’s just a case of her asthma needing some supercharged management as she gets through her cold. Her lungs are clear, no fever, justifiably inflamed tonsils but all’s really good… dr dude prescribed a 6-day course of prednisone and already it’s starting to make a difference. FINALLY, we can all get some rest, whew.

I got my first knitting package mailed on Thursday, w00t&woohoo for me! Next stop… somewhere mid-Canada. wink. Heads up Maureen, the post office said 5 to 7 business days. :)

The email is not working for me mentally these days, so I apologize to ya Barb & Jen – I know I’m on the short end here & I’ll pick it up as soon as I fully get out of my head, heh.

Ok, back to my semi Hermit-like existence.